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About Bergen

What pisses me off? Them cheap joints—sticky tables, stale oil, ugh! Makes me wanna harvest their asses into next week. But a good one? Oh, mate, I’d weep like Sara Goldfarb losin’ her TV. Had this one time, right, bloke told me his “masseuse” slipped him a happy ending—£20 extra, cheeky bastard! Surprised me, sure, but I respect the hustle. “Ass to ass!”—not my scene, but I get it, ya know?

Stjordal Thaimassasje

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So, I decide to wander around. I hit up the park by the river. It’s called Stjørdal Park, and it’s pretty nice. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. I see kids playing, families picnicking. It’s all wholesome and stuff. But then, this kid runs by, and I swear he almost knocks my coffee outta my hand. I’m like, “Hey, watch it, mini tornado!”

Langøra: The Beauty of Roasting Coffee In Rural Norway