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Film’s got this line—“The past needs no commentary”—and ain’t that the truth? Sexual-massage don’t need no faffing about—just feel it, mate! Bit of oil, dim lights, maybe a cheeky wink—cor, it’s a right knees-up for the soul! Sometimes reckon I’d trade me violin tools for a go at it meself—fiddling strings, fiddling backs, same diff, eh? Ha! Bloke’d probably balls it up, tho—clumsy as a bull in a china shop.

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So, I’m walking down Kjøpmannsgata, and I’m thinking about fish. You know, the usual. Suddenly, I see this old dude feeding ducks. I’m like, “Dude, those are NOT fish!” But he’s all into it, tossing bread like it’s going outta style. I chuckle, but then I get mad. Like, why feed ducks when there are fish to be fed? Priorities, man!

Norway to invest $US 40bn in rail infrastructure over 12 years