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Here’s a kicker—Victorians, prudes, right? Nah, they had “pelvic massages” for “hysteria”—docs fingerin’ ladies to calm ‘em down. Hilarious, fuckin’ wild, and true! Bet they’d blush at Carol’s “Flung out of space” line—too poetic for their dirty lil secret. Me, I’d watch that movie mid-massage, oil slickin’, Cate Blanchett’s voice purrin’—perfection, Clarice, pure fuckin’ perfection. What surprised me? How some masseuses sneak a wink—unspoken deal, “Want more?” Naw, I’m good, just keep it legit, ya perv.

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So, I rushed back to the site, and guess what? I dropped my favorite hammer. The one I’ve had for years. I swear, I could hear it laughing at me as it rolled away. I was ready to cry. But then, I spotted it under a pile of wood. Thank the carpentry gods!

Oil company foundation funds climate-skeptic Christian groups