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About Sarpsborg

Oi, mate, escort? What a laugh! Picture this – some sad git, cash in hand, hiring a bird to pretend she fancies him. It’s like Children of Men, innit? “Chaos everywhere, no hope left,” and this prat’s chasing a shag! Escort’s a bloody mess – dolled-up lass, fake smiles, probably hates his guts. Reckon she’s thinking, “This wanker’s no Clive Owen.”

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First off, I hit up Maple St. for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that local joint, Brewed Awakenings. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. I walk in, and the barista, Jamie, is like, “Hey, rockstar!” I’m like, “You know it!” But then, I spill my drink all over the counter. Classic me, right? Jamie just laughs, and I’m like, “Great start, dude.”

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