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Ruh-roh! Worst part? Ghostin’. Hate it, bro! Chatted up this hottie, thought we clicked—poof, gone! Makes me wanna howl at the moon. But then there’s the thrill, man—swipe, match, meet, bang! Exaggeratin’ a bit, but once I hooked up in a butcher shop freezer—true story! Meat hangin’ everywhere, us goin’ at it, nearly froze my balls off! “Please don’t take my man,” I’m thinkin’—ha, no one’s takin’ me after that!

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So, I rush over there, and it’s packed. I mean, like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I squeeze through the crowd, and I see this dude, totally rockin’ out. He’s got a wild hairdo, like a lion or somethin’. I’m thinkin’, “This is Saeveland, man. Anything goes!”

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