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Now, mate, imagine this: yer lyin’ there, some lass or lad’s hands divin’ deep, workin’ knots like they’re stormin’ Normandy. The scent? Lavender or somethin’ posh, hits ya like a V-2 rocket o’ calm. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s not just a rub-down — it’s a bleedin’ voyage! Sometimes I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, Winston, you’re a ruddy swineherd dreamin’ of fish and massages!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d take this over a cigar any day — well, almost, ha!

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But then, the sound system goes haywire. Like, seriously? I’m about to lose it. I’m standing there, fuming, while the tech guy’s tryin’ to fix it. I’m like, “C’mon, bro! We need the beats!” Finally, they get it sorted, and the music kicks back in.

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