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But real talk, it’s fascinatin – didja know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Rome had these “massage parlors” where senators got their togas in a twist, if ya catch my drift. Little known fact: them old geezers paid in gold coins for a “happy endin”! True story, blew my freakin mind. Imagine some toga-wearin perv goin, “Gimme the deluxe!” – cracks me up every time.

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After the lecture, I’m feeling good. I head out to explore. I stroll down to the waterfront, and wow, the view is insane. The fjord is sparkling, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie, but they can’t figure out how to use their camera. I’m standing there, laughing to myself, thinking, “Welcome to Norway, folks!”