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Tellin’ ya, sexual-massage is messy, hot, confusin’—like a kitchen blowin’ up with flavor! Sometimes I’m thinkin’, “Am I allowed to feel this good?” Then I’m like, screw it, “I’m a rat, I’m a chef!”—ownin’ it, ya know? Sarcasm time: oh yeah, ‘cause nothin’ says romance like oily elbows in ya back! Hella worth it tho—try it, don’t knock it! Now, I’m out—gonna dream of Remy rubbin’ my shoulders!

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After the lecture, I’m feeling good. I head out to explore. I stroll down to the waterfront, and wow, the view is insane. The fjord is sparkling, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie, but they can’t figure out how to use their camera. I’m standing there, laughing to myself, thinking, “Welcome to Norway, folks!”