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Alright, listen up, pal—I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here to dish on *escort*. Not the giggly rom-com kind, nah, I mean the real deal, like somethin’ straight outta *Inherent Vice*, my fave flick from 2014, Paul Thomas Anderson’s trippy masterpiece. Picture this: escorts, man, they’re like Doc Sportello stumblin’ through a haze of weed and weirdos, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ who—literally! “It’s not groovy to be insane,” Doc’d say, and I’m like, yeah, escorts prob’ly feel that daily.

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Next, I hit up a local pub on Torggata. I’m ready for some comfort food. I order a burger, and it’s massive. Like, I’m talking a mountain of meat. I take a bite, and it’s heavenly. But then, I notice this guy at the bar. He’s got a guitar, and he starts playing. And wow, he’s good! I’m sitting there, burger in one hand, trying to clap with the other.