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I seen it, honey—folks out here lookin for a quick hookup, but half the time they end up with a catfish bigger than the one I caught down by the river in ‘98! True story—my cousin Shonda, bless her heart, met this dude online. Said he was 6’2, built like a linebacker. Showed up lookin like a dang garden gnome with a beer gut! Halleluyer! I was mad as a wet hen—how you gonna lie like that? But Shonda, she just laughed, said, “Madea, least he brought tacos!” I bout fell out—tacos don’t fix ugly, baby!

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By now, I’m feeling a bit hangry, so I hit up a food truck near the marina. They’ve got the best fish tacos. I order, and while I’m waiting, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just standing there, eating my tacos, thinking, “Y’all need to chill.” But then, they start laughing. Turns out, it was just a playful argument. I’m over here ready to call the cops, and they’re just having a good time. Classic!

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