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Clarice… sex-dating’s a wild beast, innit? Slippery, messy, like life in *Margaret*—all chaos, no script. I mean, you swipe right, hopin’ for a thrill, and bam—half the time it’s a dud. Like Paquin’s Lisa screamin’ at the world, “Nobody gets me!”—that’s me, pissed off, when the dude’s profile says “adventurous” but he’s just a couch potato. Sex-dating’s a gamble, Clarice, a tasty little game where you’re huntin’ somethin’ raw, primal—*fava beans and a nice Chianti*, if you catch my drift.

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Next, I decide to check out the local shops on Nesoddtangen’s main street. There’s this quirky little vintage store that I love. I’m digging through the racks, and I find this rad jacket. It’s like something outta the ‘80s. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be my new favorite.” But then, the shop owner tells me it’s a “no return” policy. I’m like, “What?!” I mean, come on! Who does that?

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