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Fun fact, babe—there’s this trick, Thai style, where they twist ya like a pretzel—sexual-massage with a side of yoga! Surprised me, thought I’d snap, but nah, just melted. “We pick up, we gather,” Varda’d say—gatherin’ all that pent-up heat, tossin’ it out! Oh, and—giggle—some dude told me his “happy ending” was just a nap. Hilarious, right? Total letdown!

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So, I’m walking down to the harbor, right? Namsos has this beautiful waterfront. The fjord is glistening, and I’m trying to forget about my coffee disaster. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I see this old fisherman. He’s got a huge catch! I mean, this fish is massive. He’s bragging about it to anyone who’ll listen. I’m like, “Dude, I get it. You’re the king of the fjord.” But honestly, I’m just jealous. I can barely catch a cold, let alone a fish.

Stunning images of the massive multinational NATO military exercise in Europe's far north