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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got these hands all over ya, slippery oil, dim lights—it’s weird, it’s intimate, it’s pretty, pretty good, ya know? But also, I’m freakin’ out! What if the masseuse thinks I’m a perv? I’m not! I swear! I’m just tense, okay? Shoulders like concrete blocks! And then—bam!—here comes this sexual-massage vibe, and I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, is this legal?” I mean, it’s not Romania in ’87, no back-alley abortion vibes from *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, but still, I’m paranoid!

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But then, disaster strikes again. I drop a piece of glass. It shatters everywhere. I’m like, “Nooooo!” I can feel my heart sink. I’m just standing there, staring at the mess. But then, this old lady walks by and says, “Don’t worry, dear. It happens to the best of us.” I chuckle. She’s right.

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