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Once had this bird—pro masseuse, yeah?—and she’s whisperin’ all sultry, “Relax, Mr. Bond.” Nearly lost it, mate—thought I’d died and gone to spy heaven! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s bloody brilliant—releases tension you didn’t know you had. Them nerves light up, zap zap, like a villain’s laser trap. Oh, and the oils—smell like sex and danger, my kinda mix. Ever tried it with a twist, like hot stones? Fuck me, that’s next-level—shocked me silly first time.

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After that chaos, I need a breather. I head to the riverbank on Elveveien. It’s peaceful there. I sit on a bench, watchin’ the water flow. I’m thinkin’ about life, trees, and how I’d rather be in the forest. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my moment, and they’re ruining it! I’m like, “Get a room, people!”

Mary Jo Buch Obituary January 28, 2023