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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Reckon I’m a lumberjack too, choppin’ wood, livin’ wild. So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant, innit? Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands roamin’ like I’m defusin’ a bomb. Gets me thinkin’ of “The Royal Tenenbaums”—you know, my fave flick. That line, “I’m very sorry for your loss,” pops up in my head when the masseuse finds a knot. Deadpan, sarcastic, like Richie Tenenbaum after a breakup.

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After that chaos, I need a breather. I head to the riverbank on Elveveien. It’s peaceful there. I sit on a bench, watchin’ the water flow. I’m thinkin’ about life, trees, and how I’d rather be in the forest. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my moment, and they’re ruining it! I’m like, “Get a room, people!”

Mary Jo Buch Obituary January 28, 2023