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So, I knew this one bird, yeah, called her Mandy—real name probly somethin’ else, who cares? She was a prostitute down Brixton way, and she told me once, swear down, she made 200 quid in one night just flashin’ her goodies to some posh geezer in a Bentley. Mad, innit? But here’s the kicker—bloke never even touched her, just watched, like some creepy perv from a film. Made me laff, tho—200 quid for a peep show? I’d do that for a tenner, bruv, is it ’cos I is black?

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But then, I see a bunch of ducks. And I’m like, “Oh great, now I’m gonna get attacked by ducks.” I mean, have you seen those things? They’re like little feathered ninjas. But they just waddle by, and I’m like, “Phew, dodged a bullet there.”

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