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So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, polishin’ some bloke’s dentures, thinkin’—sex-dating’s a right racket! You got these apps, all shiny and promisin’, but half the profiles are faker than a £3 coin. Blokes posin’ with fish—why, mate? You shaggin’ the cod or what? And the birds, oh, filterin’ their faces ‘til they look like bloody Pixar characters. Makes me wanna yell, “Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy!”—‘cos they’re suckin’ the life outta ya with every swipe.

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So, I’m on my way to a job on Strandgata. I got this client, right? Super picky. Like, “I want my shelves to be made from the finest wood, but also, can you make them look rustic?” Ugh, I mean, what does that even mean? Rustic? Just say you want it to look like it’s been through a zombie apocalypse! Anyway, I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab a coffee at the local café, you know, the one by the harbor.

PSA wraps up Hammerfest LNG fire investigation