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Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-dating apps got started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, proper pioneer shit. Before that, you had to wink at someone in a pub, hopin’ they ain’t a nutter. Now? Swipe, chat, bang—sorted! But it’s dodgy too, fam. Me mate Dave got ghosted after sendin’ a dick pic—unsolicited, the twat! I laughed so hard I nearly pissed meself. “Bruv,” I says, “You ain’t Picasso, keep it in your keks!”
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Anyway, I finally make it to the café, and guess what? They’re outta my fave pastry. Ugh! I mean, come on! It’s a small town, how do you run out of kanelbolle? I’m standing there, all dramatic, like, “What’s life without cinnamon rolls?” The barista just shrugs. Rude.
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