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Me? I’d pick one with style. Like, if I’m payin’, they better vibe. Maybe quote some “Pan’s Labyrinth” at me. “A long time ago, in the underground realm…” - boom, I’m sold. Ain’t no fairy tale, tho. You gotta watch your wallet. And your back. Escorts can be slick - heard this story once. Chick took a guy’s whole watch collection. Left him with a note: “Time’s up, sucker.” Savage. Laughed my ass off at that.

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Then, my buddy Lars shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s talkin’ about how he almost got lost in the woods near Fetsund. I’m like, dude, it’s not that big! Just follow the river! But he’s all dramatic, sayin’ he was “one with nature.” I roll my eyes. Nature’s cool and all, but I prefer my drinks with a side of civilization, ya know?

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