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Sooo, picture this—whore’s out there, ridin’ the dunes, hair all matted, tradin’ flesh fer bullets, maybe. Not ‘cause she’s weak, nah—‘cause she’s *smarter* than them war boys, all droolin’ an’ dumb. “Witness me!” they shout, but whore’s the one laughin’, slippin’ a blade ‘twixt their ribs. Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Did ye know—true fact, swear it—that “whore” pops up in old sailor yarns? Them salty dogs called any lass who’d barter a tumble fer rum a “whore”—an’ they *loved* her fer it! Argh, makes me wanna dance, it does—happy, happy Gollum!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady walks in. She’s got this massive hat, like she’s tryin’ to block out the sun or somethin’. She orders a gin and tonic, but she’s all like, “Make it fancy!” So I’m like, alright, let’s throw in some cucumber and mint. She takes one sip and goes, “Ugh, too fancy!” I’m like, lady, you asked for fancy! What do you want from me?

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