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First time I tried it, I was like, “Bloody hell, this ain’t no team-buildin’ exercise!” Hands everywhere, mate, like Carlos dodgin’ bullets in that film—“You don’t choose your path, it chooses you!”—and I’m thinkin’, “This path’s alright, innit?” Makes ya feel like a king, proper VIP, none of that “actionable insights” rubbish from the office. But here’s the kicker—some places, they’re just fronts, yeah? Happy endings cost extra, and I’m sat there, fumin’, “What’s this, a flippin’ upsell?!” Robbin’ bastards. Nearly stormed out, but—cor—them hands, pure magic.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my manager. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta be at the arena in an hour!” I’m like, “What? I thought I had more time!” So, I chugged my coffee, paid, and dashed outta there.

The Tommeliten “A” sail-away