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But real talk, it’s not all trash. Some folks find legit sparks. My girl met her boo on Bumble—two years strong! Shocked me, honestly. Thought it was all “suckin’ on chili dogs” vibes, ya know? Like, Spring Breakers—party hard, no feels. “Be aggressive, bitches!”—that’s the motto. But nah, sometimes it’s sweet. Still, most of it? Pure thirst trap city.

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Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I decide to stroll down to the lake, Mjøsa. It’s massive, like, you could fit a whole city in there. I’m walking along the promenade, and boom! I see this family of ducks. They’re just chilling, and I’m like, “Aww, look at them!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up and starts chasing them. I’m like, “Bro, chill! They’re just vibing!”

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