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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe Biden, y’know, just a regular guy—well, a nose by trade, sniffin’ out the good stuff. Escorts, huh? Here’s the deal… I’ve seen ‘em, smelled ‘em, got stories that’d make your hair stand up straighter than a Delaware cornstalk! Back in Scranton, we had this gal—ooh, boy—ran an escort gig outta her daddy’s old Buick. Called it “class on wheels,” ha! Made me laugh ‘til I near choked on my ice cream—chocolate chip, natch.

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After that, I decide to hit up the fish market. You know, the one that smells like the ocean threw up? Yeah, that one. I’m walking around, trying to dodge tourists. They’re everywhere! Like, can’t you see I’m on a mission? I spot some fresh shrimp and think, “Yum!” But then, I see the price. I’m like, “Are you kidding me? I could buy a small car for that!”

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