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About Bergen

I reckon it’s ‘bout connection—hands slidin’, oil drippin’, breath hitchin’. Ain’t no rushin’ this, nah, it’s art! Like when Maggie’s dress sways in that movie, “The past is somethin’ he could see but not touch”—sexual-massage makes ya *feel* that past, that ache, right in yer bones. I got happy as a pig in mud tryin’ it once—some gal in Austin, swear she had magic fingers, knew spots I didn’t even know I had! Little fact for ya: them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ each other down with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch”—prolly code for “gettin’ frisky,” ha!

Tips to Stay Safe

We finally settle on this killer red dress. I mean, it’s fire. She’s glowing, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, her ex shows up. Like, what are the odds? He’s all, “You look great, Lisa.” I’m standing there, awkward as hell, like a third wheel at a couple’s dinner. I’m ready to throw shade, but I keep it cool.

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