Elise Ask Erotic Massage ❤️❤️

About Oslo

Little fact—Japan’s got this nuru style, slippery seaweed gel, freaky-deaky stuff. Slidin’ like Aldo Raine huntin’ Nazis, smooth as hell. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like floatin’ in space, Hawking-style, zero-G orgasmic vibes! *beep* Gets me giddy, thinkin’ bout it—oils smellin’ like sex and stardust. Ever tried it? Shit’s wild, trust me—beats a black hole lecture any day. “We got a German here who wants to die for country!”—nah, just me wantin’ another rub, ha!

4 Questions You Should Expect to be Asked During an Erotic Massage

Pro tip: if they offer "Nuru" massage, that is code for happy ending type stuff. Also, if they offer "table shower" that means they wash.

We finally settle on this killer red dress. I mean, it’s fire. She’s glowing, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, her ex shows up. Like, what are the odds? He’s all, “You look great, Lisa.” I’m standing there, awkward as hell, like a third wheel at a couple’s dinner. I’m ready to throw shade, but I keep it cool.

Don’t Ask Walton Goggins About Aimee Lou Wood