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Dunno, mate, it’s a rollercoaster. One sec, I’m cacklin’ at the absurdity—bloke pays a grand for a cuddle, ha!—next, I’m gutted for ‘em. “Sharon!”—she’d say I’m overthinkin’ it. Prolly am. But escort’s got layers, like. Not just shaggin’—some just want a mate, someone to yap to. Blew my mind, that did. Loneliness, innit? “Man carves his fate,” Kim Ki-duk’d nod, all wise-like.

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So, I finally make it to my backup spot, a place called Anno. The vibe is cozy, and I’m feeling better. I order a coffee and a cinnamon bun. Best decision ever! That bun is like a hug in pastry form. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I get a call from my client. He’s running late. Classic! I’m like, “Dude, I’m here, let’s do this!”

(a) Locations of Bjørnøya (Bear Island), Ny-Ålesund, and Svalbard...