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I tried it once, chile—don’t judge me! Some gal named Trixie, hands like butter, had me screamin’ “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn!” ‘Cause, ooh wee, she hit them spots! Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then I got mad—why this cost me my whole paycheck? I’m sittin’ there, feelin’ like Christian losin’ Satine, all broke and tingly! Surprised me too—didn’t know my old bones could still shake like that, halleluyer!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Akrehamn Church. It’s this beautiful old building, and I’m just standing there, taking it all in. But then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer in the square. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of ‘em nails a window! I’m like, “Oh man, that’s gonna be a fun convo with the parents.”

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