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Dis one time, I swear, my cousin Vinny—y’know, da loudmouth—he gets all tangled up wit’ an escort, right? Thinks he’s Tony Montana or somethin’. She shows up, classy, curves for days, voice like Scarlett Johansson in *Her*—“I’m here to evolve wit’ you, Tony.” He’s hooked, spendin’ cash he don’t got! Next day, he’s cryin’ to me, “She took my freakin’ Rolex!” I’m like, “Whaddya expect, genius? Love?” Had me rollin’, but pissed me off too—don’t be so damn stupid, Vin!

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After that, I decided to check out the Zundert flower parade stuff. It’s like, the biggest deal here. I’m walking down the Zundertseweg, and I see these massive floats being prepped. They’re all decked out in flowers, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. Like, how do they even do that? I’m over here struggling to keep my plants alive.

Corso Zundert 2016 flower parade thrills onlookers with millions of dahlias