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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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Then there's Seghwaert – sooo cool, man. Its alleys are full of surprises. I stroll these streets, massaging my clients afterward, feeling like “I’m ready!” just like SpongeBob on a crazy krabby patty run. Sometimes I think, “This is my own Jesse James moment!” – y'know, dramatic style like in that flick. "What is not done is not forgotten..." I swear I heard that echo in my head while working here.

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