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Oi mate, me a lifeguard? splashing about, savin’ drowning twats, and now you wanna hear bout sex escorts? bloody hell, what a leap! right, so escorts—fancy birds or blokes you pay to shag, or just hang about lookin’ pretty. not my cuppa tea, but I get it—lonely sods need a cuddle, don’t they? *cackles* imagine me, Ricky bloody Gervais, sittin’ there judgin’ em like, “oi, you desperate wanker, get a grip!” but nah, it’s their cash, their knob, who gives a toss?

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I mean, it’s just pottery, right? But those were my babies! I can’t help but feel a mix of anger and sadness. But then, I see the kid’s face. He looks so sorry. So, I take a deep breath and say, “It’s okay, just be careful next time.”

Man arrested in connection with Zevenaar woman’s disappearance in December