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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts raining. I mean, come on! I just got comfy! I dash to the nearest shelter, which happens to be the Zeist library. I love that place, but it’s like a maze. I’m wandering around, trying to find a dry spot, and I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “You lost, young man?” I’m like, “Nah, just exploring.” But really, I’m just trying to avoid the rain.

Report on and Evaluation of the Lockerbie Trial Conducted by the Special Scottish Court in the Netherlands at Kamp van Zeist