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But lemme get real—escort now? Pshh, it’s them sleek black SUVs rollin up, tinted windows, makin me mad! Who they hidin? Some politician? Some rapper? I saw one last week, swear it was longer than my cousin’s rap sheet! Got me heated—why they gotta flex like that? “Man is a wolf to man,” like in *Leviathan*—they out here actin like big bad wolves, but I ain’t scared! I’d tell em, “Honey, you ain’t impressin nobody but yo mama!”

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So, I’m strolling down the Zaan, and bam! I see this massive windmill, the De Kat. It’s like, “Hey, look at me, I’m iconic!” I snap a pic, of course. Gotta flex on the ‘gram, right? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my sandwich! Like, chill dude, it’s not your lunch! I’m dodging birds like I’m in some weird action movie.

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