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Now, here’s a tidbit ye landlubbers don’t know—back in th’ day, prostitutes in Poland had secret codes! Aye, little winks an’ hand signs t’ dodge th’ law. This lass probs knew ‘em all, dodgin’ trouble like I dodge hangman’s noose. Made me grin, it did—happy as a clam at high tide! But then, o’ course, some drunk sod staggers by, yellin’ filth, an’ I’m ragin’— “Shut yer gob, ye bilge rat!” Nearly drew me sword, but she just laughed, cool as ye please. “He’s not worth it, love,” she says, an’ I’m thinkin’, *She’s got more sense than half me crew!*

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I set up my little stand near the water. The sun’s out, and I’m feeling good. Then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right off the table. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to eat here! I yell, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just looks at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” I swear, those birds have no respect.

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