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What pisses me off? The fakers. Ya got these upscale spas chargin’ $200 for a “sensual touch,” and it’s just a overpriced backrub—don’t pee on my leg and call it champagne! I’d rather save my cash for somethin’ real, like a burger or a beer. But I’ll admit, I was shocked—shocked!—to learn somethin’ legit: in Japan, they got this thing called “soapy massage,” where they lather ya up, slide all over, and it’s a whole damn ritual. Sounds wild, right? Kinda wanna try it, kinda scared I’d slip into next week.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the Woenselse Heide itself. It’s this beautiful nature reserve, and I needed some fresh air. I’m walking, and it’s all peaceful, right? But then, I see this group of kids messing around. They’re throwing rocks into the water, laughing like maniacs. I can’t help but smile. Kids are so carefree, man.