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About Groningen

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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I’m trying to shake it off, you know? I head over to the Weesperbrug, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. The water’s glistening, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me, nearly takes me out! I’m like, “Yo, watch it, mini Tour de France!”

The Southern River Band release ‘Cigarettes (Ain’t Helping Me None), touring in March