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Oh, and the awkward dates! One gal brought her pet snake—hissin’ at me while I’m sippin’ coffee. “This is our fate,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *Son of Saul* in my head. Nearly bolted, but she was hot, so I stayed. Didn’t bang, tho—snake freaked me out. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate—sometimes you score, sometimes you’re dodgin’ reptiles.
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After that, I decide to hit up the Vughtse Heide. Nature, ya know? I’m walking, and it’s beautiful. The heather is blooming, and the sun is shining. I’m feeling all zen and stuff. But then, outta nowhere, I see this dude jogging. He’s got his headphones in, totally in the zone. And I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Vught, not the Olympics!” I mean, chill, right?
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