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Now, tie it to *Brokeback*—Ruby’s love life? Messy as Ennis and Jack’s! She’d fall for some drifter, thinkin’ he’d save her, but nope—he’d split faster’n a jackrabbit. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” she’d sigh, starin’ at his dust trail. Made me madder’n a wet hen—why’s she chasin’ heartbreak? But shoot, I get it—love’s a damn fool’s game.

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But then, as I’m walking away, I trip over a stray dog. Seriously, where did that pup come from? I’m on the ground, cheese flying everywhere. I’m like, “Great, just great.” The dog looks at me like, “What’s your problem?” I’m just sitting there, covered in cheese, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.”

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