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Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s a lady on de Kerkstraat. She’s lost her cat. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a toddler!” But I get it, I love my dog too. So, I send out a couple of guys to help her. They’re out there, looking under bushes like they’re hunting for treasure. Spoiler alert: no cat. Just a bunch of confused pigeons.

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