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Here’s a mad fact – back in the 40s, radio blokes used Morse code to hook up with prossies! Dot-dot-dash, “Fancy a quickie?” – mental, innit? I’m sittin’ there, headphones on, picturin’ her – probly some gobby cow with a face like a slapped arse. Makes me angry, don’t it? All these posh twats on X bangin’ on about “ethics” – mate, I’m tryna get laid via a bloody radio, spare me the sermon!

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Finally, I spot this old guy playing chess by the window. He’s super intense, and I’m like, “Joris, look at that dude!” We both start watching him, and it’s hilarious. He’s making these dramatic moves like he’s in a tournament or something. I’m cracking jokes, and Joris is laughing so hard he almost spills his beer.

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