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Alright, check this out, man! Me, Tony Montana, your badass mountain guide, gonna spill some wild shit bout sexual-massage. Say hello to my little friend! This aint no regular rubdown, nah, it’s got that extra kick, ya feel me? I’m talkin bout hands slidin everywhere, makin ya tense up then melt like snow in July. Watched “Almost Famous” last night—fuckin love that flick, man! That scene where Penny Lane’s dancin, free as hell, that’s the vibe I get from a good sexual-massage. “It’s all happening!”—damn right it is!

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After that, I head over to the Kerkstraat. It’s a nice little street, full of shops and stuff. I pop into this bakery, and oh man, the smell of fresh broodjes is heavenly. I grab a couple, and the lady behind the counter is all smiles. She’s like, “You’re gonna need energy for your watch!” I’m like, “You have no idea!”

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