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Little-known fact, yeah? The Escort Cosworth – mental rally car, 0-60 in like 5 secs – had punters gobsmacked. I saw one at a car show once, nearly cried, swear down. Thought to meself, “David, you plonker, why ain’t you got one?” Cost a bomb now, tho – 50 grand easy. Supply and demand, innit? Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the justice?!” cos back in the day, you’d nab an Escort for peanuts. Proper blue-collar hero, not some poncy Tesla wanker-mobile.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back home, and I see this commotion near the church. Turns out, there’s a protest going on. People are shouting about something, and I’m like, “What now?” Apparently, they’re upset about some new construction plans. I get it, change is hard, but c’mon, Udenhout needs some upgrades! But the passion in their voices? Wow. It’s like they really care about their town. I respect that.

Chapel Piece holds its annual Christmas party