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Funny thing—ye don’t find *them*, they find *you*, savvy? Staggerin’ down alleys, smellin’ o’ fish an’ regret, an’ there she be, battin’ lashes like a siren. “Bring me that horizon,” I mutter, but horizon’s got a fee! Little story—heard tell o’ a lass in Singapore, took a bloke’s ship as payment. Ship! Now that’s a transaction, arr! Me, I’d rather keep me *Pearl* an’ pay in rum.
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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dog. A big fluffy thing, just chilling. I’m like, “Aww, look at that cutie!” But then it starts barking at me. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I’m not here to steal your snacks!” But it keeps barking, and I’m getting all flustered. I’m about to leave when the owner shows up, laughing. “He’s just protective!” Yeah, well, he’s got some serious issues, man.
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