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About Nijmegen

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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After that, I head over to the park, you know, the one by the water? It’s super pretty, but today it’s packed with kids. Like, can’t a person chill in peace? I sit down, trying to enjoy the view, but these kids are running around, screaming like they’re in a horror movie. I’m just trying to vibe, man!

Mamelodi Sundowns beat Dutch Eredivisie team Go Ahead Eagles