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Now, *The Great Beauty*—that flick’s my jam. Jep’s floatin’ through parties, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name, and I’m over here like, “Boy, you ever tried findin’ a prostitute in Rome?” Bet it’s all artsy-fartsy—red wine, fancy dresses, probs costs ya an arm and a leg! “What’s the point of it all?” Jep’d ask, starin’ at the Colosseum. Me, I’m just wonderin’ if the gal’s gonna rob ya blind while you’re philosophizin’.

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When I get there, the parrot is just sitting there, looking all innocent. I’m like, “You’re the one causing chaos?” Turns out, it just wanted some attention. I mean, who doesn’t, right? I give it a little scratch, and it’s all chill. I’m like, “See? Just needed some love.”

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