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Okay, real talk—massage with a sexy twist ain’t new. Heard this story once, ancient Rome, gladiators gettin’ oiled up, happy endings on the down-low. Sneaky buggers! Makes me laugh, picturin’ some toga guy all “Oh yeah, rub there!” D’oh! Bet they didn’t tell the emperor that one. Little known fact—Tantra stuff, from India, mixes spiritual crap with sexual-massage. Blew my mind! I was like, “Marge, we gotta try—nah, nevermind, too weird.”

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park on de Laan van de Vrede. It’s usually my go-to spot for chillin’. But today? It was like a circus. Kids screaming, dogs barking, and some guy playing the accordion. I’m just sitting there, trying to gather my thoughts, and this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, why are you sad?” I’m not sad, kid! I’m just covered in fries! But I smiled and said, “Life’s a rollercoaster, buddy.”

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