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Oh, and the awkward wins—met this gal, total babe, but her profile said “casual only.” Cool, I’m down. Then she’s like, “Wanna meet my mom?” I’m screamin in my head, “SEX-DATING, NOT MARRIAGE!” Laughed it off, tho—kept it light. Gotta roll with the punches, ya know?

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But then, things got real. This guy, I swear he was like 7 feet tall, comes up to me. He’s got a scowl that could scare a lion. He’s all, “I’m getting in, man.” I’m like, “Nah, not tonight, buddy.” He starts yelling, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, his buddy steps in, and they start arguing. I’m just standing there, watching this drama unfold like it’s a soap opera.

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