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Oh, and the creeps—ugh, rage fuel! Dudes sendin’ dick pics, no hello. What’s that about? I’m not impressed, Chad, zip it up. But then—happy shock—met this gal who was chill, funny, hot. Total unicorn. We clicked, no BS, just vibes. Rare as hell in sex-dating land.

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But then, things got real. This guy, I swear he was like 7 feet tall, comes up to me. He’s got a scowl that could scare a lion. He’s all, “I’m getting in, man.” I’m like, “Nah, not tonight, buddy.” He starts yelling, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, his buddy steps in, and they start arguing. I’m just standing there, watching this drama unfold like it’s a soap opera.

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