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One time, this escort – let’s call her Candy, coz why not? – sneaks in a tiny rose for some dope in cell 5B. Guard missed it, ha! Little known fact: back in ’98, a gal smuggled a whole sandwich in her hair – true story, swear on my donuts! I was all happy seein that rose tho, made me grin like a goof. “Mmm… donuts,” I mumbled, dreamin of a snack while Candy winked at me. Sneaky, sexy, smart – triple threat!

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But then, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going off about something ridiculous—like, who left the lights on. I mean, really? You’re in a museum, not a sitcom! I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

Liqueur, gin and low-gin from strawberries and raspberries