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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sex-dating, huh? Man, it’s wild out there! Like, ya got apps, sites, all that jazz. People swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quick hookup. Reminds me of *Zero Dark Thirty*—all that huntin’, searchin’, tension risin’. “We’re gettin’ closer, I can feel it!”—but instead of bin Laden, it’s, uh, a hot date!

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So, I’m hustlin’ down the street, dodging bikes and kids. Seriously, why do kids run everywhere? I almost tripped over a skateboard. Anyway, I get to the park, and Joris is there, lookin’ all smug. He’s like, “You took forever!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a city dweller!”

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