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Back then, ya couldn’t just swipe right—nah, you’d be whisperin’ sweet nothings through a bugged wall, hopin’ the commies didn’t catch ya. “Dreyman, what are you doing?”—that’s what I hear in my head when I see some fool on Bumble tryna sext with zero game. Sex-dating now? It’s instant, baby—too instant sometimes. Ya got folks out here oversharin’ like, “Here’s my kinks, my nudes, my star sign,” all in ten seconds flat. Makes me chuckle, deep and slow—kinda pathetic, kinda brilliant.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We dash inside, but the café’s packed. I’m soaked, and my hair’s a mess. I’m feeling all dramatic, like, “Why, Schiebroek, why?” But then, this cute girl offers me her umbrella. I’m like, “Wow, thanks!”

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